My sister-in-law is an emergency room nurse. She has been for years and, as a result, has some great stories. I'm hoping that as The Boy and The Girl get older, she can fill them in on all kinds of horrendous tales of people not wearing seat belts, doing drugs, and making plenty of other poor choices. Maybe sort of a less formal Scared Straight program. Or something.
Anyway, Tonight she told us about two thieves who ran from the police after stealing... I don't even know what. Hopefully something worth their trouble? They only made it a few blocks when the police overtook them. Because they were short of breath. Which, just... maybe it's time to re-think your life choices at that point. They were taken to the ER at my sister-in-law's hospital.
'I mean, really. It made me realize that if you're going to plan a crime where you might have to run from the cops, then maybe you should train for it. You know? Like, maybe a life of crime requires training.'
'Nice. You should put that on a t-shirt. A life of crime requires training.'
'And planning! It also requires planning. People are always getting caught because they never think things through. I should have been a criminal.'
'OK. And planning. Maybe that could go on the back of the t-shirt.'
'Or on the front? Maybe like with a carrot? You know, off to the side like insert here?'