Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Day 6: Why I Need My iPod Shuffle

I went to the gym on Monday and realized that my iPod shuffle was dead.  I hadn't charged it over the weekend.  I made a mental note to charge it as soon as I got home, and went on with my workout.

Of course, I forgot.  So, this was my morning.

I sit down on the leg lift machine.  The older woman with the walker who is there just about every morning, I think, sits down across from me at the triceps machine.  'How're you?'  she yells.

I've seen her do this before.  It's a trap.  She doesn't care how I am.  She'll have a story for me.  And chances are she's already shared it with several other people before I walked in.

'I'm ok.  How are you?'

'I'm ok.  Just trying to take my mind off of things before I have to go to this funeral.'

'Oh, I'm so sorry.'

'Don't be!  That's what happens when you go to a place with a group of people and act like you're better than everyone else!  You get shot!.  You get hurt.'

I guess so, I mumble.  But she's on a roll.

'32!  He's 32.  Nine children.  You should have seen them all carrying on at the viewing last night.'

'How awful for them...'

'I am not going to the lunch afterward.  Mmm-mmm.  I'm not even going to the cemetery.  Not after watching his wife try to crawl in the casket with him last night!  Can you imagine what she'll do at the cemetery?'

No.  No I can't.  Thank goodness Herb walked in right about then.  She forgot all about me and our conversation and I got to switch machines.

***

They were playing classic rock in the gym this morning.  I like some of it.  It's what everyone at my middle school was listening to in the 80s. I've realized that I still have a soft spot for Van Halen and The Scorpions.  But there's one band who I've grown to realize is just bloody awful.  .38 Special.

I don't know how we all listened to them as kids.  As a grown up I heard Rockin' Into the Night again (at the gym, of course).  I finally paid attention to the words and could not believe I sang along with this song when I was 11.  It's all about trying to get his girlfriend into a cheap motel for sex because they can't keep their hands off each other on the highway.  Only she must leave him because in the next verse he's picking up a mentally ill prostitute.  And then he proclaims 'I ain't no new messiah/ But I'm close enough for rock-n-roll'.

Oh, honey, please.  You're not even close.

This morning I heard Hold On Loosely, which is almost as bad as Rockin' Into the Night.  But I also got to hear No One Like You.  So maybe it was ok that my iPod shuffle was at home after all.




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