Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Who Else Was at the Doctor's Office Monday Morning?

Steven, who was resplendent in pink.  Shocking pink hair and long finger nails.  Tastefully dressed in a rose colored sweater dress, underneath a short hot pink jacket, which matched his hot pink leggings.  Black and red striped socks peeked between his leggings and his sparkly silver tennis shoes.  He smelled of stale cigarettes.

The Russian mother and her daughters.  The daughters were younger- maybe nine and six?  The nine year old wore a large, dark red flower in her dark brown hair.  The six year old had a big, curly, bright green bow in her blonde hair.  The six year old could not stop staring at Steven.  I know this because Steven sat one seat away from me on my left, and the Russian family was on my right.  The six year old seemed a little frightened of him, actually.  Her blue eyes were enormous and she kept whispering to her mother in Russian.

Steven seemed harmless to me.  He muttered a little to himself, and the woman at the counter had to write down his information because when he filled out the form his handwriting was illegible.  But he was polite, inoffensive. I'm guessing that the six year old had never quite seen anyone like Steven before.

Also there?  The short round woman who was in front of me at the counter while I was waiting for my parking validation.  She said things like, 'My head is still on the highway!  I am not all here!', and, 'I never take a $50 bill when I'm working at the flea market.  It's just a superstition of mine.' and 'If she doesn't have change for you I bet she sure would like a tip!'.

It was an interesting start to the week.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Shock & Awe with the JW's

I had just finished getting three kids set up with lunch when the door bell rang.

'Hello!  I'm Nate and this is my wife Rachel.'  They looked to be pushing 70.  Rachel waved to me from our walk.  Nate had come up to the porch and left his cane at the top of our steps.  'We'd like to talk with you today about pornography.'

You can't even be serious.

'I don't feel comfortable talking with you about that when I've got three kids right in here eating lunch.'  As though I would have wanted to without the children there.  I sort of pointed in the direction of the dining room.  'We don't watch it, if that's what you're worried about.'

He waved his copy of The Watchtower at me.  Across the cover it read Pornography: Harmless or Toxic?  'I'm going to leave this with you,' he shoved it into my hand.  'It discusses God's thoughts on the subject.  These aren't just words I'm saying!  There are quotes from scripture in there.'  He nodded to the pamphlet.

Later, over dinner with friends it was suggested that I could have asked them to come back later for cocktails when the kids weren't around.  'You know.  You could have pulled up some choice material on the internets for discussion.'

'No!  You should have told them that you are an adult film actress, and that you didn't appreciate them attacking the way you make a living.'

Joking aside, how would a discussion about porn with strangers who were someone's grandparents have gone anyway?  I will never, ever know.