The sound of time rushing past has been brought to a fever pitch by my new anxiety. I've always been a worrier. That's nothing new. Becoming a mother almost ten years ago made that even worse. Nothing like having a whole other life completely dependent upon you to make you really worry and, in my case, over-analyze every. little. thing.
This anxiety that I've been feeling lately has a new edge to it though, maybe desperation? I desperately want to get a million things done which of course I can't. This results in insomnia, which results in sleepless or near sleepless nights, which results in me being too tired to do anything the next day. That of course is worse, because then I get nothing done and things pile up...and on and on. You get the idea.
I don't know if this is some kind of post-cancer anxiety. Does that even make sense? Like I was worried about dying, or leaving projects unfinished, and of course what would my family do without me. That's really all behind me now, but the anxiety and worries are maybe remaining. I think. It's the best explanation that I can come up with anyway. There is really nothing else going on that should be causing me this level of sleeplessness. Well, except for all the things that I'm not getting done. I guess.
I feel you Dr. Thorndyke.
On a lighter note, last week I had the following phone conversation with a young (probably) college intern working for Tom Smith. (I won't link to his page, but he's running for the senate in PA.)
Her: 'If the election were held today would you vote for Smith or Casey.'
Her: 'What if I told you xyz about Smith's plan for the economy?'
Me: 'I disagree with him on several other issues, so I would still vote for Casey.'
Her: 'What if I told you that Casey voted with Obama 95% of the time?'
Me: 'I would still vote for Casey.'
Her: 'So, would you like to volunteer some of your time working on the Tom
Smith Restoring the American Dream campaign?'
Me: 'Hahaha. Does it sound like I want to volunteer my time for Tom Smith?'
So, kids, the moral of the story is, don't always follow the script.